I fully intended for today's post to be about exercise but today was a very Garrett-y day so I'm leading off with this quote:
"I loved the Boy with the utmost love of which my soul is capable, and he is taken from me—yet in the agony of my spirit in surrendering such a treasure I feel a thousand times richer than if I had never possessed it."
William Wordsworth wrote that after the sudden passing of his son Thomas. Mike and I saw the quote on a stone near Garrett's and really loved it. We spent a good chunk of a night looking for the reference but couldn't remember enough of it to do a good Google search and didn't find it in Wordsworth's poetry. I went to Memorial Park today and took a picture of the inscription. Turns out it's in a letter Wordsworth wrote to a friend. He follows the above with, "God comfort and save you and all our friends and us all from a repetition of such trials - O Southey feel for me!" This, and a thousand times this.
I spent some time talking to Autumn's teacher today. She was incredibly encouraging. Although she and I have very different stories, we both have sadness in our pasts from childhood to adulthood. We covered a range of subjects but it all came back to how our main source of spiritual sustenance is the knowledge that God is ultimately Good. I do believe that God does work for the good of those who love Him...and not in the trite, Pollyanna way many Christians quote Romans 8:28. Does losing Garrett look like a good thing to me? Heck, no! Would I have chosen to glorify God in this way? Absolutely not. But this is the path God's put in front of me and, as someone wiser than me said, this is not His Plan B. He isn't scrambling to reroute my life...the verse on Garrett's birth announcement applies to me as much as it does to him:
And that's a comfort to me in the darkest moments.