Picture of at Listal
I think it might be time to start the discussion about why Mike and I are choosing to adopt rather than attempt to have another biological child. I've talked in person with a number of people about it which has been good. I've also spoken to a somewhat disconcerting number of people who seem to think my healthy, exercise-filled lifestyle is what caused Garrett's stillbirth and all I have to do is go on bedrest the whole nine months and everything will magically be okay. That will be a "what not to say" post because there's a way to ask questions without blaming or shaming. I love answering questions which is why I'm even going to talk about it here but, as we've talked about before, there are ways to ask that don't come off as accusatory.
Anyway, one thing people outside our inner circle may not be aware of is that I've always had a number of reproductive system issues so Mike and I have always known we might not have many (if any) biological children--we were surprised when Autumn came along so quickly. I've had ovarian cysts, along with some of the complications they come with, as well as endometriosis and polycystic ovarian syndrome. The latter causes me the most trouble these days. Because of it, I had to do a fertility regimen--both eastern and western--to have Garrett so it's very likely that I'd have to do fertility treatments if we wanted to have another baby. I can't think of a doctor who'd touch me after what happened with Garrett and I'll talk more about that later on.
There's been a lot of discussion lately about birth control. I'm sure you've heard about Rush Limbaugh and his awful words as well as the insurance coverage debates. Although I really dislike discussing anything overly inflammatory, mainly because I just can't with the crazy people who only see in stark black and white, the whole birth control thing resonates with me. Personally, I've always put it on the same level as seat belts and diet and exercise. Yes, God could give me a baby any time He wanted. He could also take me out anytime he wanted via car accident, heart attack, or whatever. But, I choose to mindfully live in the manner I believe God's called me to in terms of bodily stewardship. And, at some point, everyone has to make a choice about what that looks like for them and it's just not going to look the same for everybody all over the world.
One thing I feel like gets lost in this whole debate, is birth control as a medical treatment or necessary preventative. People like Rush Limbaugh only think about promiscuity in regards to birth control or abortion. But, like a blogger I recently began following put it better than I ever could, things aren't always so simple. I'm someone who takes orthocyclen to control the PCOS in addition to family planning. Take a look at the symptoms and complications. I have a couple of the complications already and I am at risk for more because of my family history of cancer of the reproductive organs, high blood pressure, and diabetes. It can be a tough call to make. But when people are freaking out over this, think about me and all the other women who have to make hard choices about their families and their bodies.