|Autumn with the memorial fairy garden Cheri made for us as a gift from Mike's siblings.|
It's a beautiful day. We met Nanny and Boppa and Lainey and P'd at Memorial Park and put a balloon and some flowers on Garrett's grave. Lainey brought balloons to release but Autumn wasn't having any of this letting go of balloons so we didn't do that and they are in her pink room now. Mike prayed one of the most beautiful prayers I've ever heard and then we had lunch, surrounded by some of the people we love the most. Saturday, more people we love will go with us and we'll release a sky lantern and get ice cream. As far as celebrating loss goes, we can't ask for much more.
Mike is our next guest blogger. Mike has been wonderful through all this. I don't really have many words for all Mike has been and done...for how he has grown and how he has lived in a way that makes me proud and I am sure pleases God and our son who waits for us in Heaven.
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I think I’m a fairly simple guy. Probably the most important thing in my life that I try to make my ultimate goal is simply “Love God, love others.” Honestly though, I’m not very good at it. But I can tell you right now that God is awesome in His ability to love us.
In the year that has passed since we lost Garrett, I’ve seen the Lord raise people up around us. Dozens & dozens of people who have poured love onto us! People that were right there during those terrible moments and people that have just entered our lives these past few weeks. People right next door to us and people all the way across oceans. People that have sent cards, mowed our lawn, prayed for us, cleaned our house, helped us to strengthen our bodies...so many people have given so much love & blessed us.
There is so much about losing Garrett that I don’t understand & likely never will here in this life. I will always feel the loss of not getting to know him. Of not kissing him more. Of not holding his hand again. Of not hearing him call me Papa. I only got such a small short moment with him! So much I will miss...
But despite this hurt and confusion I have an odd feeling of comfort. I know that one (awesome!) day I will meet my son Garrett. I’ll get to hug him and hear his voice! And even here now I see God doing great things! I see his amazing love in action around us through everyone that has come up around us. It doesn’t make the hurt disappear. But it does draw me closer to Him & somehow I am comforted.
So as I mentioned earlier, even if I stink at truly loving Him & others I am so incredibly grateful that He is awesome at loving on us!
Thank you to everyone for loving us! And most of all, I thank you Lord for all of these wonderful people & the love you have worked through them! Please give Garrett another kiss for me and tell him his Papa loves him & misses him.