Sunday, July 8, 2012

I don't like being out of sorts

Autumn drew family signs: Happy Autumn, Happy Mama, Grumpy Papa. Haha. I'm grumpy today, though.

I'm having a weird week. It's been good in many ways. Autumn and I made ice cream on Tuesday, blueberry buckle on Saturday. We went to a birthday party Wednesday, saw Mike's dad a lot, swam a lot. Donnie and Liz were in town briefly and we got to hang out with them. I didn't have to teach the kids so I had a little vacation.

But Autumn starts school in, like, three weeks. I'm kind of not ready. I'm not overly sentimental about most things so I'm a little surprised at how strongly tempted I am to home school. We live in an amazing school district so I know the right thing (for now) is to let Autumn go on and at least give it a try. Fortunately, if public school isn't a good fit for her, we have other options. Many people don't have such a luxury.

I think some of the school starting melancholy is that last year, when I would lament that I felt time passing with Autumn like the horsemen of the apocalypse thundering towards me (yes, I am that dramatic about kindergarten--weird, huh?), Mike would reassure me that it'd be a good time for Garrett and me to have the kind of fun that Autumn and I had together when she was a little over a year old. Obviously, that is not to be.

Compounding all that, my mom is angry with me. She hasn't spoken to me in over a week. It's pretty convoluted so I won't even bother explaining but it's a difficult enough situation that even if she calls one day, I just don't know what I'll say. To add to everything, someone on Facebook was using my story to give an example of why abortion saves lives. Which, no. That threw all of us for a loop, for real. I haven't the slightest idea how anyone could lump Garrett in with that because he passed away long before he was born--and he was born the usual way. No assistance other than pitocin. Which I kind of thought everyone knew. But I guess not.

It's just been a weird week, you know?

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  1. Sharaze, so sorry to hear all this. John 10:10 came to my mind: "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." I think God is working in big ways in and through you, and that's a big threat to the enemy. Keep going, girl.

  2. Thank you so much for the encouragement, Lauren. I needed it big time this morning.