Friday, August 24, 2012

The Little Things

Our community group has been going through a book called A Praying Life and I cannot recommend the book enough. It's incredible. We all agree that when we read it, it isn't like...I don't know, an ooooh-ahhhh kind of thing. Like reading CS Lewis or something. I have read more scholarly books. I have read more detailed books. I have never read a book that has had such a direct effect on my personal life.

We started the book because we were all pretty convicted about the states of our prayer lives--or lack thereof--when doing the chapter on prayer in our regular curriculum. We started talking about having a summer of prayer when our lead pastor mentioned this book and that it had changed his life. It was a sign!

So, we have spent the summer reading and praying. I've started keeping a calendar with prayer requests from people and with people and situations I'm praying for. I can't say there's been this huge, crazy list of miracles, but I've enjoyed seeing prayers answered from kids having good first days of school to work situations improving. And I am eagerly anticipating the answers to some big prayers like finding jobs and our adoptions.

Wednesday night, I asked everyone to pray for Autumn. She's been really struggling in some ways. School starting has been hard on her, although for the most part she is enjoying it. She's also frustrated that the adoption hasn't happened yet. And she thinks too much...Monday when we were getting ready for ballet, she tilted her head and asked me if our adopted baby would die like baby Garrett.

Heartbreaking! I told her I didn't know because, and she interrupted and said, "everyone dies. Sometimes they are old and sometimes they are not." And I added that because we love Jesus, we get to see the others who love Jesus in Heaven. And she said, "okay." And nodded firmly.

Plus she's been having to walk from the school entrance to her class alone and many times she'll spend the walk from the car to the school talking about how afraid she is. And I know she is. It's partly why she's in Occupational Therapy. We often talk about how bravery is being scared but doing it anyway. Yesterday we told silly knock knock jokes for the whole walk. When we get to the front of the school, some days she cries. Some days she clings and then turns around and waves sadly.

Well, today was pretty wonderful. She was scared. And I don't feel great today so Miss Empathy didn't feel well either. Autumn walked up pretty well because she had seen a friend and got to wave at her. But at the door she started to cry and talk about how she is afraid of all the people. I gave her a hug and noticed her classmate, the one Autumn had waved at, was behind us. So, I said, "maybe you can walk in with Ella!" And then Ella walked over, put her hand out and said, "can we walk in together?" Autumn put her hand into Ella's, grinned at me, and went in without looking back.

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