I didn't have it in me to take a photo of us with a Garrett memento today so I thought I'd post something else. Our friend Elizabeth Wiggs took this almost 2 years ago in Mike's parents' back yard. We had just found out we were pregnant and weren't really telling anyone yet because it was still early. But we kicked around some fun ideas for announcing our new addition on the blog then asked Elizabeth to stage this photo. And, even though we hadn't announced it officially yet, anyone who got a Christmas card also got a secret hint if they looked close enough.
Of course, we called Elizabeth to schedule a newborn session as soon as we found out Garrett's due date. After Garrett died and I left the hospital, I emailed her and asked if we could reschedule our newborn shoot for a fall family one and she said, "absolutely." Over the summer, when I was still mainly home bound, she even came over and just hung out with me and showed a little bit about how to work on my camera. On the day of our family session, I was concerned that I'd just want to cry the whole time. But Elizabeth's compassion, comfort, and simply the fact that she's a friend...it was bittersweet, but mainly sweet because I still had my Mike and my Autumn. I remember telling Elizabeth that this would be our "it's going to be okay" session.
By the way, I couldn't resist adding this. Elizabeth has been taking our pictures since 2008. When I scrolled through my archives to see if that was right, I came across this:
Anyway, we weren't able to do formal photos this year but we're hoping to do it next fall. Actually, what we're hoping is that even before next fall, we'll get word from the adoption agency and we can schedule another newborn session. And I'm sure we'll include some pinwheels in memory of sweet Garrett.
This post is part of the Capture Your Grief worldwide event in honor of
Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month.
Day 18: Your Family Portrait Take a photo of you with your family, work out a way to incorporate your baby/ies/child/ren who are no longer physically with you anymore. You could hold up photos of them or even just hold their names with you. What does your family look like now? Is it just you left here? Do you have a large family? Is it just you and your partner?