Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Wednesday Gym Adventures

We belong to our community gym. I've mentioned the gym more than once here, I did my personal training there and I take some fitness classes from a couple of instructors I like a lot. My Facebook friends have gotten to hear about the craziness that goes on there but I just realized I've never really talked about it on the blog! Oh, man. I love all the characters. Someday I'll tell you about the knitting yakuza lady...ok, so maybe she isn't a former yakuza member but I have the best storyline in my head about her because, seriously, she's awesome. Like, in her 60s and works out in yoga pants and a sports bra!! I love it! I pretend she knits before class to keep her hands busy. That way her old assassin ways don't suddenly take over her muscles.

Ahem. Anyway, a couple of months ago, I had a rough morning. It was walk to school Wednesday so Autumn and I walked the whole way instead of part of the way like we usually do. There was this overzealous PTA mom at the crosswalk who stopped us--even though we already stopped because the crossing guard had the traffic going. Then, the mom started telling us all about how the crosswalk works! I mean, really! I let her go on a bit and tried to stop her with, "we do this every morning, we know" and a smile. It didn't work. She kept on going. And going. And going. HOW MANY CROSSWALK INSTRUCTIONS CAN THERE BE?? Finally, I leaned over to catch her eye, she was at that point talking to Autumn, and said, "I am her mother. We can handle the crosswalk. Like we do every. morning." She backed off and then some more kids came up and she started telling them all about how the crosswalk works.

No makeup, standing next to Autumn. You'd think people have never seen a short person.
Then, in the line where they sign in as walkers, a mom came up to me and said, "aww, what a nice big sister to walk her little sister to school." OMG. One, how about not talking about me in third person. And two, "I would be her mother." It was far to early for this. Besides, if I were a teenager, the local high school starts at like 7am! There's no way my parents would have let me skip school to walk a sibling somewhere.

So. Rough morning. Class was great that day, though. Afterward is when it got weird. This elderly woman came up to me after class. She was one of the zumba people--they like to come in as soon as our class is over and stand in their spots which is fine but it makes it hard to put away equipment when they are on top of my stuff! This elderly (emphasis on elderly) woman asked me, "Honey, should you be in here?"

I AM A GROWNUP, DANGIT. Also, Autumn took this photo. Not bad!

At this point, my head was about to explode.

I closed my eyes and very patiently said, "Ma'am, I assure you. I am an adult."

She said, "No, that's not what I meant, you're just so tiny and this teacher is such a drill instructor."

I burst out laughing and told her that I love the class and that I am totally fine.

But the thing is, every week since then? She's come to check on me to make sure I survived. I mean, she's genuinely worried! Lately, she's been asking me if I need help putting away my weights! I promise you, my weights probably weigh more than she does! The instructor saw her offering to help me and was dying of laughter because, seriously, this lady is soo frail looking that I am afraid she might break a hip in Zumba!

For a second, I wondered if I was hypocritical by thinking she could break a hip in Zumba when I'm a little amused and irritated that she thinks I'm too frail to do my class, but, really, keep in are some adjectives my husband has used to describe me: sturdy (I AM NOT FURNITURE) and healthy as in, of a healthy size. There's another one but I can't remember what it was now but I've had a few talks with him about choosing his compliments better!

Tune in next week for more Wednesday Gym Adventures!


  1. My husband is guilty of describing me as "thick" and "healthy" in the same sentence. My mom had to explain to him that "healthy" was not used as a nice adjective in her/my auntie's social circles but more as a synonym for "fat". lol He still calls me thick, though! :P

    1. I told him to go with "shapely" or "athletic"!! Mike's issue is that he's thin and hates being thin. He'd love it if someone called him sturdy, LOL. But, I told him he'd like it more if they called him FIT. Or muscular.

  2. I would give my right arm to be mistaken for a teenager. Or carded. Anything. Love the stories - keep us posted!

    1. Ha! It's kind of nice to get carded when I'm dressed up and out or something but man it gets old to be mistaken for a kid...people can be so condescending. It's also tough when I need to be in a professional situation. If we're doing aikido, I can just throw someone really big but if I'm doing a conflict resolution workshop it can cause issues because people don't want to hear life lessons from a teen! I've started any talks now by listing my qualifications and, occasionally, my age. So glad the gym story went well--I have no idea why I haven't been writing about all the crazy gym stories!

  3. I went to my local community centre to attend a zumba cclass, I paid and showed my Covid certifications. I walked into the gym, handed my cashiers receipt to the instructor, hung jacket, changed shoes & put my stuff on my 'spot' while I left to go to the washroom. Bear in mind I am fully in leggings, a cute camisole and nothing else = it's exercise class & it's December & snowing so I'm not going far.

    I returned, gym is now full with about six other Zumba aficionados. There's a woman at the door to the guy with a clip joard and a dour look on her face. As I was walking back into the guy she asked where I thought I was going. I said I thought I was going to Zumba, did we change the location? She says in a snarky tone, "well you can't enter until you've paid for class and produced your receipt. I told her I'd already paid - and I have no pockets but have already been in class (not in the snow like this) and given my receipt Alana (not her real name).

    She continues in her 'boss' tone...well why did you give Alana your receipt? I responded that I had been coming to this Fridsy 2 pm class for almost 2 years and always gave instructor the receipt because as I understand it she gets PAID based on the number of attendees and her manual list of zumba enthusiasts.... Harumph....

    Now she goes onto Covid certification. Provided that at front desk when I PAID (apparently to be harrased by a, as my mother would say "a four foot F all"), 20 year old, clip board toting woman wearing NO mask.....), good job there boss lady! Maybe if you had been blocking the door ten minutes before class started, as most of us tend to do, you would have got all this info upon entry to the hallowed halls of ZUMBA.

    She blabbering and mumbles something indee her breath - I walk past her. I have fulfilled my obligation once, upon coming into the building - and besides ppl keep coming into the building and it's getting cold from the 'brisk nor-easterly gusts'... I go into the guy, ask Alana for my receipt. I grab my phone, open it to the page where my Covid info is located and dash out to see the Zumba Concierge/General. I show her the page on my phone and dangle the receipt where she can see it. Her response? "Well I didn't mean for you to bring it out to me" - well no, not in so.many words but again you know what they say about actions- they speak louder than words and had I taken much longer I'm sure your foot tapping could have kept up to our zumba themed songs and confetti would have blown out you're ears! Gee you must be related to someone on board of directors and not been able to GET or KEEP a job elsewhere. This is a community centre for the good of the residents of our community, be it basketball, the food Bank library, library, craft circle, over 60's Bridge Club, soup kitchen, etc. I asked if we were dine yet, again she says she didn't ask for any of this info (yah IK, maybe not in so many words Karen).

    Class is about to start, I've wasted 15 minutes of my life I can never get back from my dealings with this woman. My the dance music begins & just in the knick of time because now I REALLY need to burn off some excess frustration and energy. ITS XUMBA TIME. My dance instructor asks me 'what was THAT all about, I simply said it was too gomplicated to explain & left it at that.

    Enjoy your next class & hope you dont run into THIS Karen or her sister because she's gotta have one somewhere in the world.

    Whew, thanks for the read & hope I provided a laugh or two.

    1. Apologies for my spelling mistakes. I've been up since 4 am this morning , I work in the construction industry as a Traffic Control Person - it rained half the day & I should have had supper about two hours ago.

      I see the one thing lacking is there is no button to return to your writing and correct any spelling or grammarical mistakes - sometimes you can't depend on the first tappingbof your message to be 100% perfect.

      Guess I have to live with it now. Again, thank you for this forum.

      I came across this website totally by accident/coincidence & very glad I did.