Sunday, September 8, 2013

In which I taper off

Back in December 2011, I wrote about starting zoloft and why I decided to start taking it again. The short of it is that I was having some anxiety problems, most likely as a result of all the crazy hormones making a general tendency to anxiety much more severe, and the counselor and I decided that a prescription would be beneficial to take the edge off. I had a good run on it. No major side effects that I know of and I was able to stay on a very low dose.

A couple months ago, I started talking to Mike and my doctor about maybe coming off zoloft. We decided it was a good idea just to see how it goes. I began tapering off. First, one every other day for a few weeks, then one every 2 days and so on. I've heard horror stories about coming off sertraline but I'm completely off now with no noticeable issues. I'm not sure if zoloft type drugs just work well with my system or I tapered off well enough but, either way, I'm happy it was a smooth transition.

Mike and I keep an open dialogue about how I'm doing. I seem to be fine. No anxiety problems. I haven't been overwhelmed by anything or any projects. No angsting about "OMG I AM A FAILUREEEE BECAUSE MY DISHES AREN'T WASSSHHHEDD." It seems like any emotions I feel, even the angry or sad ones, are in the "normal" spectrum of responses to events. I'll keep monitoring. I've always been pretty good about getting help if I need it from a counselor so hopefully if anything does change, we'll catch it pretty quickly.  

By the way, these kinds of people? I still want to punch them:


If you click on my original zoloft post, I linked to a blog called Hyperbole and a Half and, since then, the author of that blog has posted an update of her journey with depression. Language warning, like last time, but her update is pretty amazing and transparent and I definitely suggest reading it, especially if you're struggling with dark times. Or if you know someone who is struggling.

It's a hard process, getting healthy. It sucks sometimes. Sometimes it sucks a lot. Straight up honest, I still have days where I'm all "really? REALLY, GOD??" I think God is probably okay with that. It's odd that I decided to come off zoloft right now when things are kind of tough financially and emotionally for the whole family. Like, last night, Autumn cried because her friend is getting a new sibling. She was all, "why does he get TWO? Why don't we have a baby yet?" But it felt like the right time? I don't know. I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING EVER. We'll see. I'll keep exercising and crafting and going to the acupuncturist and talking to my family and friends and all of the things I have done over the last couple of years to keep my head on straight. And, if I need to go back to zoloft, or something else, I will. And I'm sure you'll hear about it.

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