Friday, September 13, 2013

Smoting is my personality type!

Mulan: Prepping for the Matchmaker on Disney Video

I used to be really stressed out about not being the stereotypical Southern/Asian culture woman. I'm not quiet and submissive. And I'm totally Mulan. I went to a counselor at a great Christian psychology office here in town some years back and told her how tough it was to try to be all the things books like Love and Respect (part of our church CURRICULUM!) wanted me to be because I'm just not. And Mike isn't the kind of guy they describe in Biblical Manhood circles--he just isn't stressed out about it and probably partly because of a more chill personality and partly because he's a guy and people aren't all YOU ARE RUINING YOUR LIFE BY BEING A NURTURERRRRR. Which really isn't entirely true, now that I think about it so it's probably just Mike's natural chillness.

And my counselor? She said, "why do you care?" That's a gross oversimplification of several hours of counseling and so is the rest of this paragraph but she and I talked about how, well, I'm living inside what I believe is God's will for my life. Also, I have a happy marriage with a husband who isn't the one asking me to change. And et cetera.

So even though I'm not angsting (zoloft probably helped with that since I tend to need it when the angst goes overboard) about being a so-called "strong female" (said with the disdain of a televangelist, lol), I still think about gender roles, the Bible, and culture.

I've had this theory that I can in no way substantiate but I'd love to find someone respectable who has done or would do research on this. I have always wondered how much personality type and social conditioning have to do with gender roles and expectations. I remember once, when we were going through Love and Respect, asking what in the world would have happened to me if I were alive in the 1300s (other than die a horrible death due to eczema, bad eyesight, severe allergies, or the plague). One of the guys, without hesitation, said burned as a witch. I AM JOAN OF ARC. I wasn't raised to be. I have occasionally actively tried to suppress that part of me. But it's just there.

Source. Also, Mike will see this and go "wow, that really is Sharaze."
This is generally at the back of my mind but yesterday a few people posted this Harry Potter Myers Brigg graphic that's pretty cute. And, I'm James Potter and an ENTJ. The funny thing? I have done official tests and not-official tests and it is always the same. Also always the same? It's the most rare female personality type, along with INTJ. Famous ENTJs? Napoleon. Mmhmm. One site describes it this way and you can click to read more:

This is the classic leader of men type... 
Females: This is the classic Amazon girl. DC Lawyer Bitch is probably an ENTJ. That is all you need to know.  
General: This is a very male type. They are probably found in leadership positions in proportions far beyond their small number in the population. Females will not wear this type well and their own hypergamy will make it hard to find men that “measure up.”

I, by the way, had to look up hypergamy. It is the practice of marrying up. Which I did, hahaha. I think that even this simple website description is very telling. But, you know, I'm not Amazon woman. I'm also not DC Lawyer B***. I think I wear my type well (and, yes, I know that these letters are not the be all, end all but it's still fun and interesting!). I really like this video my ESTJ friend sent me that I'll put at the bottom. The healthy ENTJ teachers they describe, one of whom is, interestingly, a UFC guy, is the kind of teacher I try to be. Makes me feel better about all the other martial arts teachers who rant about me being soft and too not evil to my students. I call it not being a bully, personally. And, actually, I think I'll stop here for now but next time we'll talk about social conditioning and the dojo! In the meantime, what's your personality type?

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