And then Christmas rolled around. I wrestled and wrestled with how to acknowledge Garrett. I didn't want to sign his name or anything because that would be confusing although it seems some families do that. That year, I really, really needed him to be a part of our Christmas card. Again, no one seemed to have what I wanted. I didn't want MERRY AND BRIGHT but I also didn't want the memorial and card to be super depressing. So I decided on this:
I wasn't going to list any Christmas cards until November but I went ahead and put this card in the holiday section just in case anyone who happens to read this is looking for something similar and wants to pin it or bookmark it. It felt really good to put together the patterns and the wording. I'm guessing it has something to do with getting to play creator where everything is in its place rather than being immersed in life's chaos. I don't know.
Sometimes I wish I were a real artist who could paint or sculpt her pain. I'm not...but I'm also thankful that I've been able to channel some of this excess emotion into my own version of art. Our playroom curtains, one of Autumn's favorite dresses, the shadow boxes, these cards, any number of DIY projects have come out of the time I might have spent with Garrett. Out of the sad energy I've tried to morph into places and items that bring warmth instead of darkness.
This blog post is for the worldwide event Capture Your Grief in honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. 24. Artwork: Have you created a piece of artwork in the wake of your baby’s death? Or maybe someone has given you some artwork to honour your baby? Please feel welcome to share links to your own website or to other artists.