Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Adoption Update: Key chains and heartstrings

Years and years ago, Penny bought two Hello Kitty key chains. One she kept. One she gave to me. After some time, mine was ridiculously filthy and I decided to, as part of Penny's Christmas gift, get replacement key chains. I chose this one:

Today we met with J, the birth mother I mentioned last week. The meeting was great. We liked J and she seemed to like us. We talked a lot about our pasts, our lives now, and what we want to do in the future. We also talked about how nervous we all were to meet each other.

J has amazing determination and drive. She works full time, has an 18 month old, and is in school. The birth mother counselor asked her what caught her eye in our profile book and she said that it was how happy we looked. And, she also liked the pages about Mike's family and the photo of ALL THE COLLEYS.
Funny enough, this is the next set of pages I've been meaning to add to the profile book compilation.

Back to the key chain, as we were preparing to leave, J dropped her keys and Mike picked them up for her. He stopped and said, "Oh, wow," or something to that effect and asked me to get my keys out. J and I have the same key chain!! Not that it is some kind of strange custom made thing but I've never seen anyone else with the key chain and it was a fun thing and, perhaps, a good omen, although I'm not sure I really believe in those. She likes Hello Kitty. If the baby is not born before Christmas, we will probably meet with J again and I know exactly the kind of little gift I will bring for J and her daughter!

It's weird because there is simply a ton of time here. J's due date is December 27. Depending on when the baby is born, it could be 2 weeks or more before we would bring him home because of court dates and holiday closings and slowness. And, although it seems unlikely, J could always change her mind. The last uncertainty is the birth father. He is not interested in parenting the baby but we are taking steps to make that a formal declaration.
Page two of the Colley spread.

Some have asked and Autumn does know that adoption things are happening. She's ridiculously perceptive and we decided it would be better to give her a little information than to let her wonder and worry about what's going on--not to mention that P'd had to take her to school today so we could be on time for the meeting. The only time anyone else has taken her to school (that I can think of) was when I went to the hospital and I didn't want her to experience any flashbacks or fear. She's asked questions and doesn't seem to be dwelling or impatient or anything negative. Plus she'd think it was really weird if we were suddenly buying baby things and getting the nursery decluttered (it's where old projects and things I'm too lazy to take to the attic go to languish).

At this point we are, as Mike's dad put it, cautiously optimistic. We have a nursery full of boy clothes and diapers and everything we need so there's no mad dash to get anything done other than to start looking into a car seat and a stroller. We're checking our finances and finance options for the placement fee. I do have a fundraiser I'm considering but, frankly, I'm not going to do it until he comes home and the fundraiser will be for the lawyer fees. Like I said in the last post, it's not that we're gun shy or scared because of last time, it's just that there is a lot of time here and it seems prudent to proceed cautiously.

Anyway, here's our list of specific prayers for anyone who would like to pray alongside us:

1. That J and baby stay healthy and that the delivery goes smoothly for her.
2. For J's heart and mind as she goes through this process.
3. That the birth father would do this the easy way and sign the papers.
4. For the hearts of our family as we prepare for the baby who will hopefully be our son.

Thank you for walking this journey with us! We'll keep everyone updated. If you have any questions, you can always call, email, or comment and we'd be happy to answer. 

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