Monday, May 5, 2014

Adoption Update: The Nothing's Happening Edition

I have so many fun things to write about!! But, I feel like I need to write this adoption update before I do that. A lot of friends have been asking where we are in the process and the short answer is: nowhere.

Grumpy cat speaks for us all.

We're trying to decide if the answer is a no. Sometimes it is despite what the Everything is Rainbows crowd likes to believe. We have officially broken ties with our agency. I don't think I'm ready to go into details about the whys and hows but I'll say that many more mistakes following the last failed adoption prompted the decision. Previously, we planned to stay until our contract expired but that simply wasn't an option anymore.

We didn't tell many people about this, but around the time we decided to call it off with the agency, a friend of a friend contacted us about a lawyer who had two babies to place. Long story short, research showed she is a great adoption lawyer, both situations fit our criteria, we sent her an updated version of our profile book, and then neither birth mother chose us. Start to finish, that situation took about 2 months to play out. When we last spoke to her, the lawyer asked if she could keep our book and show it to another family and we said yes.

Although we didn't particularly expect that one to come to anything was still disappointing because we're just not sure why all this opportunities come and then don't pan out. It's like the universe likes dangling carrots! I know that's not true but it is rather tiring. I spoke with a social worker at an agency today about updating our home study when it expires in July. While we aren't actively in the adoption process right now (other than the lawyer), we haven't decided that it's time to give up yet so we're going to keep our home study current.

There are a few options we're considering. There's an adoption group that some friends recommended that sends your profile to multiple agencies. We could retain the lawyer we've been working with. We could go with another agency, although that's looking unlikely. Fostering or foster to adopt isn't off the table although that would be a completely different kind of situation so we're really thinking that one over hard.

I find myself having a great day and thinking, "maybe this is enough." And it is! It's totally enough. I was trying to think of a way to articulate what is in my head but then I remembered of our friend Ken's poem, the one he wrote when we had our last home study update:
Welcome again to our home
It's a lot like it was last time
It's full of rooms with stuff
A complete complement of parents
A child who is everything

It has wide open arms
Joyfulness brimming
All the love that will fit
We're all full up
Because only a home that's full
Needs more children

I guess when it comes down to it, that's why we haven't closed the door yet.

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